I won’t pretend that life became a fairytale after Fade and I finally became a couple, though I will admit that it was quite good. The one that was affected the most was little Roux, in the process of less than a week he lost his father and had someone new in his place. How he cried for his daddy when he didn’t get his way or was cranky.
I tried to get a hold of Blue but now that I was out of his inner circle it was almost impossible. The only person that I could get to talk to me was Purrberry and that was after a considerable amount of asking and pleading.
“You know you broke his heart.” Purrberry said with distain after we had sat down for lunch without missing a beat she pulled an magazine out of her purse and slapped it down on the table. “For this.” On the front page it was a photo of Fade and I with his arms wrapped around me as he kissed my forehead. “Oh so you know?” I asked as Purrberry glowered at me
“You know Blue can’t publicly acknowledge Roux as his child. We can continue with paying unofficial child support for him but if you want Roux to have a relationship with his father it has to be in secret.” She said almost sadly knowing what would be my next move. And it hit me there that ending the relationship between Blue and myself might have been the best thing for me but it was hurting other people. It might be surprising to most people but Purrberry loved Roux like he was hers and had sometimes watched him for Blue and I.
“I’m not going to have him grow up a secret in his father’s shadow. If the world won’t know that he is Blue’s son then maybe it’sits better that Roux doesn’t know who his father is.” I said as I idly picked at my lunch not really having an appetite for the food on my plate. “I had a feeling you were going to say something along those lines. You know he told me exactly what happened when you left him,him; how he even offered to leave me and throw away everything that we had worked so hard for. But you still left him after that, why?” She asked me while looking at me subtly trying to hide her curiosity.
“Because it wasn’t really what I wanted in the end. I had thought I wanted to be with Blue but when he said that he would leave you I didn’t feel a sense of relief or happiness. The whole time I’ve known Blue our relationship has been based off of the unobtainable, the thrill and rush outside forces holding us apart yet somehow we would end up together. And that’s just really what it was for me at least nothing more or anything deeper that when things became obtainable, the thrill and rush were gone and all that was left was Blue. I never realized before that moment that I never truly wanted just him. I might have been in love with him but I never loved him.” I said as I got up and left. After the meeting with Purrberry the checks still regularly came but I knew none of it mattered, once Roux would be old enough he would want answers that I nor anyone else was going to give him.
After that I never heard from either of them again, if the door was shut before now it was completely locked. I could breathe for now that, that part of my life was over as my relationship with Fade began to progress at a rate that would have alarmed most but felt more natural than anything else to the two of us.
It didn’t take long for Fade to be completely moved in after a few trips to Black Tea Hollow, leaving us cramped in an apartment full of now mismatched furniture. My once coordinated apartment was now marred with monotoned shades of grey. Sorting everything out and decided what to keep took a few more days. But in the end everything worked out and we were as happy as can be or at least as happy as could be with Roux’s obvious dislike of Fade. Though Fade didn’t really mind and said that it would probably take him some time to get used to him.
I just hoped he would get used to him soon than later as I soon found myself faced once again with a positive pregnancy test and the epiphany that this sort of thing happened way too much in my family. Hopefully one day there would be a Meringue that waited until after they were married to begin having kids. I was also nervous how Fade would take the news; we haven’t even been together for that long. I knew that he would probably be happy, I mean he treated Roux like he was his own… but I wasn’t comfortable with the small possibility that he wouldn’t be. We hadn’t even discussed whether or not we even wanted to have kids yet.
“Is there anything you want to tell me?” Fade asked me a few days later. “Tell you? Why would you think I need to tell you something?” I asked nervously as I tried to keep my voice from cracking. With a raised eyebrow Fade replied as he stopped grilling “Because of the way you’ve been acting these past few days as you’ve moped around our home. I thought you would have been happy to sign with that TV show so you could work here in Briocheporte and not have to travel that much…”
“I am happy about that Fade but there has been something else on my mind that I don’t know what to say or how to tell you.” I began to say as I idly played around with my glass of lemonade. “You don’t regret any of this do you?” He asked quietly as he sat down next to me in one of the chairs. “NO! Its not that at all. It’s … It’s just that we are going to have a baby Fade.” I finally managed to say as he sat there quietly for a moment.
“Hyp that’s great… A little soon but none the less great!” Fade said with surprising enthusiasm as he got up from his chair and pulled me up from mine. Gingerly he touched my stomach with his hand “So there is really a bab I’m mean our baby in there.” He asked making me laugh and say “You’re acting like you’ve never been around a pregnant lady before.” With a sheepish smile he pulled his hand away and replied “Well you know I have, but it’s different when it is yours.”
After Fade’s happy reaction I was a bit relieved to say the least and tried to enjoy this pregnancy as much as I could between the ‘bouts of morning sickness which were then replaced by an insatiable cravings. When I thought about it I was actually kind of glad that Roux would have a sibling so close to his age and I hoped that they would be almost as close as Bombay and I had been growing up. Roux was more skeptical about a baby being in my tummy and would laugh when I tried to explain that he was going to be a big brother in a few months. But as my belly grew I think even his little mind was taking form that his mother was carrying a baby.
As the pregnancy progress and we began to surmise more baby items it was clear that Roux and the baby wouldn’t be able to share the bedroom like planned nor would a crib fit in our room. The only option that was left was to start looking for a new place. Neither of us wanted to look in The Hills for a place to live but at the end of the day with a realtor it seemed our only option after looking at a lack of 3 or more bedrooms apartments or even more spacious 2 bedrooms apartments in the city. “As much as you don’t like it Fade neither do I. But what other choice do we have right now? There are not much other options for us. I mean we can wait it out until the baby gets here but I’d rather be settled in somewhere by that time honestly.” I said one night as I packed for us to visit Sweet Valley to meet my brother’s little one.
“I know and it’s all very practical that we would move sooner than later on. But I just can’t wrap my head around me living out there. You know what I was like as a teen, the fights I used to get into all the time with the kids from out there and now we are probably going to be living in a neighborhood of people that I might have pummeled a time or two growing up. But if it’s what you want and better for the kids then I guess we will start looking for a home out there when we get back.” Fade said resignedly as he began to grab the already packed suitcases to load the car up.
Sugar Valley was just as warm as I remembered it with the scent of the sea in the air as seagulls in a flock dotted the sky as we drove through the familiar streets of my childhood hometown. Our grandmother’s house was decked out in balloons and other party decorations outside. Though a few of us sought refuge in the air conditioned house, my teenage cousins Eclipse and Mirage spent the whole time in the pool along with Aquatini and her date. Everyone cooed and fawned over little Candy, who had her mother's cherry red tone and my brother's locks. She and Roux were pretty much inseperatable the whole time as they played together.
My belly was also much of the topic and there were quite a few congratulations for Fade as he had long since been welcomed into the family. In fact there were a few that teased us about making it official…
But getting married was just a blip in the back of both of our minds as we signed a lease agreement a few weeks later for a home in The Hills section of Briocheporte. In the following weeks we made arrangements for the redecoration of the home and eventually those were complete and ready for us to move in. Moving there was a lot less complicated than when I had moved into our old apartment since we decided to hire a moving crew. In less than 3 days we were completely moved into our new house and unpacked.
With all the time that had past it was almost a shock for me when I woke up the morning of interview I would be doing on a show and realized that I was only two weeks away from my due date. With a quick stretch I tried to get up from the bed a few times as my belly weighed me down but eventually I was able to do it. As I made my way into the kitchen to get breakfast I saw that Fade was already up with Roux. My stylist had arrived shortly after I ate and began doing my hair and makeup when the labor pains set in.
At 2:36pm on Thursday afternoon, Roux now had a little brother as Ashen Haze Meringue was born. He was the color of my great grandmother Vanilla Meringue with a light dusting of fine baby hair the shade of Fade’s. His eyes were still that murky shade that many babies had so it was hard to tell what color they might turn out to be.
But as he grew it was apparent that his eyes were my father’s color, a very lovely shade of teal just like mine and my Father's.
Even at his young age he had a love for music and would sit patiently while listening to his father strum away on the guitar. That little apple didn’t fall far from the tree I observed with his temper that seemed to mirror a younger Fade’s. Little Ashen’s favorite toy was the small xylophone that was never far from him as he would drag the thing all over the house with him to clank away on it while I or his father was trying to take care of something else such as finishing a phone call.
Roux on the other hand had entering in the stage where he just seemed to get himself into everything and seemed to view everything as a new challenge. As he scaled the stairs one day you would have thought that he had just climbed Sugar Lump Mountain the way he acted with a few of his stuffed toys. Soon he would be starting at the elementary school with Ashen not too far from him in preschool. And I had wondered how Ashen would do with his temper in school. Roux practically had all the teachers wrapped around his small fingers and was able to get away with almost just about anything reminding more and more of his father. But Ashen was growing into the opposite taking more of Fade’s personality. The only thing the two of them seemed to like together was even at this small age was the endless supply of birthday parties we were invited to from all the people Fade and I had met throughout our careers that eventually had children of their own, but that could have been for just the cake that was always served right before the end.
I don’t know which one was more excited Roux whose birthday it was or Ashen who thought it was his own birthday. We had ordered a cake from a little bakery downtown that Fade and I had always talked about eventually getting our wedding cake from and party guests were beginning to arrive as it was being delivered. I barely had time to get it into the kitchen before the last of the guest had finished arriving. Between the games and other festivities at the party I found myself on my feet the whole time even with Fade’s help.
Needless to say when it was time to blow out the candles and serve the cake I was happy because the end of the party was insight. Roux enthusiastically blew out his candle after making a wish.
My oldest had left his toddlerness behind without looking back.
Only looking forward, apparently to a few of the little girls that he would be joining at the beginning of the school year when classes would start again.
When everyone had finally left I snuggled up with Fade on the couch as we watched the boys play together. Ashen who had missed his afternoon nap was still going full energy, though I knew the moment he laid down he would be out like a little light. As I looked at my family I couldn’t help but think that over the years I might have made some choices that not everyone would have agreed with but had it been any other way I might not have had the life I had right now.
And now it is time to say goodbye to Hyp's generation as the next chapter will be Roux's first. This is one of my many favorite songs that I thought was fitting for a little send off for Hyp and Fade before Roux takes the reins. Click the link if you want to listen to the song!
Big Bad Voodoo Daddy~Still in Love with You.
♫So when it rains, I'll shield your head
And when you cry, I'll wipe those tears
Because it's you through all these years
And I'm still in love with you
Drop to my knees, at Christmas time
And ask you please, if you'd be mine
Because it's you through all these years
And I'm still in love with you
We walked the streets of the crescent city
We held hands in Chinatown
We watched the sun go down on the ocean blue
That's when I knew that I would always love you
So when the day turns into night
I know that everything's alright
Because it's you through all these years
And I'm still in love with you♫